Wednesday 28

The first thing Brother Adams announced to the class was that we were going to do a panel type of game. Three volunteers sat in the seats and we began questioning them about the article that we read last night. Although, I didn't read the article and didn't really know what we were talking about. The questions asked and comments made were really thought out and profound. Luckily everyone was into the game and we got a lot done and we got further in our understanding of all forms of empathic listening.

Monday 22

We were able to finish the role play today. We have officially learned that Brad had two brothers that were in a car accident on the first day that he missed. One of his brothers is in jail and he didn't want to tell anyone because of his position as bishop in the church. He felt responsible for his brothers (who he was taking care of) and didn't really want anyone to know about such a situation.
Later we watched a video clip from Indian Summer. In the scene we saw, guy was in a boxing match and won. His girlfriend came into the ring, put the gloves on and started to hit him (obviously trying to make a point). She was yelling aat him that she wanted him to know that she was there adn she wanted to be noticed. She was obviously being ignored by him in their relationship.

Friday 24

Today in class Brother Adams began class by saying he wanted to go on with the role play. He said he would chose any random person and for some reason, I knew it would be me. He picked up a chair and started prowling around the circle in search of a victim. He set his chair down in front of the girl next to me and then scooted it over to me.
Actually being in the role play personally, helped me to understand the situation better. Being able to experience the situation first hand has helped to deepen my appreciation for what we are learning. Even though I was awful in the empathic listening part, I learned a lot more about it.

interpersonal conflict

I read the article “Interpersonal Conflict and Effective Communication”. In the second section it talked about the healthy approaches to resolving a conflict. I liked how it focused on preserving the meaningful relationships and the greater need to work on those with greater care. People with whom you have a less meaningful relationship, like a salesperson, don’t care about your needs and is basically a means to an end. The types of relationships that last forever like family and close friends are the ones that need the most attention. It first talked about compromise and the need to be understanding. This is easier to say than do, but it is totally necessary in helping the bond. I mostly like the point it made about surrendering just to avoid a conflict. I have had confrontations with someone who just gave in to shut me up. I remember feeling so frustrated and foolish. I then resent that person for making me feel like a fool because I couldn’t drop the problem. Because I have had this happen to me before, I have often tried to be open- minded in any argument and give them chance to speak their peace. I like the attention that this particular subject was given in this article because it helped me to realize my feelings weren’t totally off. Then it ended with an important point that healthier relationships are open, honest, assertive and respectful. http://www.drbalternatives.com

Wednesday 14

Wednesday was a pretty normal day. I enjoyed the discussion about teaching a young child the importance of cutting the grass or other chores that are needed to be done. There was some disagreement to why the child should do as he/she is told. Many felt it was more important to be completely obedient and some felt it was more important to help the child learn the value of the end result. I agreed with Eliza about the need for a happy medium between the two. Obedience is important, but you also must instill in the child how to do things on their own. Without that lesson of how to do things right for the mere fact of knowing success or achieving good results they will never know how to do it. She also talked about the stags of their life. For example, a three year old doesn’t need to know why he/she needs to do something, just how to do it right. The older they get the better they can understand its influence and worth.

marshall arts

On Monday we related marshal arts to communicating. It was very helpful in realizing the importance in saving energy in any argument. You shouldn’t just punch back and forth with as much force as you can in a fight. To use the energy from your whole body is much more affective than just hitting as hard as you can. This same principle applies to any conversation or argument. The metaphor that brother Adams brought up about a matador and the bull in relation to taking advantage of the argument. If someone is throwing punches or attacking with words, you basically let them pass by and get worn out. The visual relation to this type of communication was very helpful.

Embrace differences

Today we discussed differences and how we should embrace it in one another. Being able to hear other’s stories about things that they had experienced helped me to relate and even change my view of some things. I usually never know what to do around people with a handicap. I am afraid that if I make eye contact and smile they will think I am making an extra effort just because they are different. I also think that trying not to make eye contact will offend them, because I am pretending they aren’t there. But it is neither of those things, so I get stuck. I was glad to hear Eliza say that people who are handicapped know they are handicapped, we don’t need to pretend it’s not their. Her father had lost his arm in a farming accident and supposedly likes it when people ask him how it happened and don’t pretend that it’s not there. I was snowboarding the other day and saw a couple of people who were in wheelchairs. Nothing amazing happened but I felt more comfortable being around them. I wasn’t worried about offending them or thinking too hard about what they might think. It has helped me a great deal to have such a discussion in class.